Without a Heart

I wish, I so wish...I didn't have a heart. or emotions.

That way, I wouldn't have to feel this pain.

I miss him.

I am now unemployed again, and am leaving in three weeks.

I am still in denial about all of this, but I made a decision...and now I have to stick to it.

I miss him.

I thought this would be easy, but it looks like it's slowly going to dawn on me...what I am letting go off.

I have to be stronger than this.

Job rejections and now this. I am tired.

I really am.

I wish I didn't have to feel anything. It's been so long since I felt genuinely happy...I dont even know what that feels like anymore. I am tired. and I want to go away...some where far far away.

Belle