Gilded cage

He is FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE.

Like seriously. I am leaving so he stops talking to me. Unbelievable.

Unbelievable. The nerve. The sheer nerve.

I walked around the City today, looking longingly at the place I once worked at. I walked around, had lunch and realized how incredibly done I was with this place. I am done. I don't want to be here, I have nothing left for me here, and quite frankly, it hasn't exactly been great with my personal life here.

The thing is, I dont feel anything when it comes to "love". I am just sad, and tired. I was too scared to hold his hand. I can't believe how scared I was to hold his hand. I just didn't want to. I really didn't.

He won't bring me happiness, just sadness. A girl in a gilded cage.

I guess I just miss the attention. But the thing is, we had a great working relationship. Going shopping, having coffeee...dinner on occasion...drinks. Talking about god only knows what...but now, it's boring. We have gotten distant mainly because of the job I have taken on. Like, I need to find my own happiness and if it comes with the job, then I have to put myself first.

I can't believe him.

In a way, London now has become that as well. It's a cage and I need to get out.

I am going to miss walking by the Bank of England. Along Gresham Street...losing myself in the winding cobbled foothpaths that take you to nowhere...and somewhere important all at the same time.

My tickets are booked for the end of the month but now I really want to just go back to California.

I can't believe him.

Fuck. I just lost a really good friend.

Belle