Update!

Hello all.

I have some explaining to do.

I haven't really been busy...just really depressed. That's all.

I have gained weight.

Since January, not much has happened.

But overall, the tone of this year is much chirpier than last. I am not sure why.

I don't have a job. I have gained weight.

But I have friends. A proper support system around it's kind of amazing.

I think I have been going at things by myself...thinking "I need to be stronger" blah blah blah.

The reality is, I have suffered tremendously because of it.

I need someone holding my hand...and as it turns out, there are so many people who are willing to do that for me. It's kind of...amazing.

I am calmer...happier...and well, while everything is still up in the air, I am blessed with what I have.

So let's start with BOYS as this is now my favorite subject.


The russian. So over that.

Now I am in the phase of DATE LOADS of people and see what happens. I am actually going for coffee with this hungarian next week, but that's an interesting story.

A few weeks ago, I went to this bankers party. I have no idea why, but apparently, I come off as a trophy wife. That was interesting because tired bankers, with no means to really pick up girls, tend to thing that I will go home with them. That I am there to find someone rich blah blah blah.

And I get treated as such. It's annoying, but I realized...I can have fun with this.

So the hungarian's flatmate, who I wont even name because he was just scum. just scum...decides that he is so cool that he could and did grab my waist and pulled me closer towards him at this party.

He wanted to take me home. Threw so many comments as to how he was so good in bed and how I will have the time of my life. But I think what pissed me off is how thought I was stupid. "Do you know M&A is?"

Fuck you. Screw off. I spent most of my time studying or applying I know what M/A is you douche.

Sorry, I felt really insulted and then to top if off, he just thought he could be suave in his drunken state and take me home. Ugh.

SO I proceeded to play along with it...and spent 20 minutes building his ego and making him think I was going home....only to just drop him and leave to meet with my friends.

It was awesome but at the same time I royally pissed him off.

Yea. So now I am meeting his flatmate because...his flatmate was actually sweet.

Anyway. Amsterdam. Got high, ridiculously drunk went to seedy bars and overall enjoyed my weekend. it was fun. i like that city. just don't think I could work there. I would need a ridiculously intense job there in order for me to move.

Ugh.

Anyway.

Belle