Eyeing Mecca

Greetings.

One month and four days into unemployment.

Lord only knows how many applications have been sent, how many cover letters I have botched, and how many CV's I have exaggerated.

Lord only knows.


Trading. I need to find my way to the trading floor.


So much so that this month, money has been redirected to tube fares...not that tube fares are actually costing much these days since strikes happen nearly every day now. if not that then some important line (cough cough victoria cough cough) is closed or under renovation or simply nonexistent.

anyway. money has been redirected to other areas leaving the food bill...to a whopping 10-13 pounds/week.

i know. that's an achievement. i live on canned beans. and houmous.

i live on carbs.

and i have lost weight. alot of it. i wore a coat that use to be tight around the waist...key word used to. i love when i go to button that i feel like there's room for me to "fill into" the coat. that it's just too big for me. yea. love it.


anyway. stress is leading to starvation which is good.


practicing for my numerical tests...the first stage in the job app process. apparently, most people cheat and have some smart engineer do it for them. i am sitting these with a friend of mine who is okay at calculations but better at the understanding the questions. ofcourse, when you are in stress mode and theres 20 minutes on the clock to do 20 lengthy questions...you tend to misread whats being asked of you.

so yea. friend sitting next to me destresses my situation.

now i just hope i got through with these.


and i am always hungry. this is a good to be sure, but still. living on canned beans is fucking miserable. i can't even afford proper vegies because this country makes it too fucking expensive.

i am miserable. cold. hungry. tired. rejected. dejected.

and a million other things.

and it's only just begun.


this is really going to be a long journey to get to the trading floor.


if any of you are in london, look towards to the city today and pray for me. that place is quickly becoming my Mecca.


Belle