To Russia With...Indifference

Comrade threw a soiree last Saturday evening. I dressed up in simple white dress, with black leggings...kept the jewelry simple, and made sure I absolutely looking spiffing.

Casual, but fabulous.

Russian was invited. I brushed off his invite with mere indifference, thinking he wouldn't go.

My, oh my, how wrong I was.

Within 5 minutes of entering, and exchanging pleasantries with comrade's girlfriend...I see his face.

He did a very obvious double take. When you look to the side, and then look again. Fuck you, I'm hot.

You know it.

I know it.

You know I know it.

I know that you know that I know that you know....

yea, you get the picture.

Offers me a mojito with far too much mint.

And so ladies...and gents...it becomes a cat and mouse game. I am doing my utmost to just simply avoid all contact with this tool, and for awhile, he is within eye range, and often...joining groups I am in. Fuck you.

Everytime he came, I had to top up.

I barely faced this kid, so much so I can't even remember what he looked like.

I haven't seen him since December 2009.

and I am hurt. and angry. and just so many other emotions coursing through my eyes, it took an entire hour and a few drinks to really relax.

i just feel cheap.

like fair enough, you found someone else. you broke up with her because she had to leave the country. and now what? I am your backup bitch and you are trying to get into my good graces. like seriously? me?

the part of me that missed seeing him...and that still wants something from him, is increasingly being overshadowed by the feeling of being discarded. cheapness. useless. a second-rate citizen.

i passed out at 1:30 in the morning. i slept on their balcony. i had a clear view of the city.

this boy will only hold me back. no respect. nothing. and i have goals now. i have vision of where i want to be. and he will only hinder my progress.

no. this time it will be different. i don't know if this chapter is closed because i will see him at parties, but i have changed.

no more of this nonsense. i am going investment banking, and that's really all there is to it.

and i am looking towards the east.


Belle Svelte