On Goals

Hello.


Back again.


This is what happens when you have readings to do for a 10,000 word thesis you don't really want to write. or read for.


So I was browsing facebook, and randomly fell on the profile of Mr. Diplomat, yet another German to add my list of guys who for some reason, just don't call back.

After exams, I ended up watching the USA v. Ghana game with him and his buddies at Texas Embassy by Trafalgar Square. Not a bad place I'd say, I managed to make a guy drop his plates when he first saw me. Ha Ha. Sorry, moments like these shouldn't make all giddy, but I can't help it. It's just...very reaffirming.

Anyway. It was an awesome evening though USA lost. I was chatting away with Mr. Diplomat about him...his life...and what not. We ended up going to this bar that's essentially an alcoholic version of GLEE. Now I like Glee, but drunken flamboyant overgrown show choir singers enthusiastically playing tune after tune...after tune...ever so loudly...well...it gets to be too much. Furthermore, we joined up with some alumni from my alma mater-- really posh ones whom I instantly recognized and mentally laughed at the coincidence of it all. Normally, had this been my elite, hierarchical undergraduate campus I would have had to either (A) be on the guest list or (b) be publically humiliated by a student bouncer asking who I knew at the party or (c) all of the above....

....

instead. here i was. an equal. it was odd.

what was more odd, was the guy who i recognized, who would not have noticed me in my college days...actually flirted with me. ha. ha. ha.

wow.

so anyway. weird turn of events. night ended and at 2'0 clock decided to part ways with Mr. Diplomat. I thought he would walk me home.

He didn't. He just said bye. After what...nearly 6 hours of chatting. Just walk me home. Nothing else. We live in the same direction anyway.

He said he would call the next day for the Germany-England game.

Since then...no calls. Nothing.


Sorry, I am just really annoyed.


I am getting the feeling that my desire...nay sheer want now to become a trader is isolating me from the world.

I cant help it. I want what I want.

I always used to think this was a guy's job. That I can't handle it.

You know what. Fuck it.

I want to do this.

The guy downstairs, Mr. Law who I know likes me...basically told me to go into consulting instead. I don't get it. Why is it that all these males just can't deal with me moving in this direction? Why?

I am getting more and more annoyed now. I guess I am not meant for relationships or boyfriends or anything of that sort.

Fuck everyone. The sad part is, I caught the eye of an incredibly cute guy who basically moved across the room at Texas Embassy to be near me. Of course, it would have been rude to talk to him in front of Mr. Diplomat. So I didn't.

Missed opportunity.

I don't even have money to go out.

UGHHHHH.

So when I see people holding hands and stuff...I just sigh and think...you have a goal. you need to become a trader.


belle.