May's End

Worst week of exams...over. Three still to go, and it's far too sunny to be cooped inside.

Gained weight. Totally feel it, and haven't been to gym in over two weeks. Returning from having chocolate something everyday (!!!!!) and back to salads.

So I get really sleepy when I have far too much carbohydrates. Not cool at all. Minimizing carb intake because it makes me groggy and bloated and all those things.

Did I mention that I've gained weight? I've gained weight.

After this Friday, I am returning to the gym and running my heart out.


In other news...after five-six months of toying with the idea, I think my mother was emotionally abusive...for the last 10-15 years. There moments where she was "loving"....but I those were few and far between.


It's just too much when you start reading articles and check off every single sign...and symptom.

What now? I am tired of being angry...and oddly enough, emotionally detached from the world.

I am seeing a counselor this week.

I just want to forgive...and then never speak to her again. I am really exhausted and tired.

And by moving on, I mean actively seeking out this German kid I was talking about a few posts ago. The international diplomacy one (not the crazy German)...who seems interested. He's invited to a few parties after exams and I'm excited at this new possibility. It's time to let people in....i may not be perfect, but then again, what is perfect?

Belle